


Like I Remember You

by lunartotems



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-17 04:27:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21048272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunartotems/pseuds/lunartotems
Summary: Gods are the loneliest beings if they loved one of their creations too much.





	Like I Remember You

**Author's Note:**

> This is heavily inspired by [Menadoensis's](https://twitter.com/Menadoensis_) recent [artwork](https://twitter.com/Menadoensis_/status/1184134682428006401?s=20). Thank you for letting me write about this piece and you are one of the sweetest people ever. I'm sorry for the horrible writing in advance.
> 
> Also thanks for sticking with me MsMillennium. Sorry not sorry for breaking ur heart.
> 
> Bops for this piece:  
1) Right Here Waiting by Richard Marx (to quote the good place, it's [the stuff](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciYSbskMkTY&feature=youtu.be))  
2) Just a Memory by Regina Spektor and ODESZA

It started innocently as a cough. Byleth thought of nothing more than it was just the chilly autumn winds Faerghus was known for affecting her husband’s health. Dimitri was a rather healthy man, save for his over eagerness of finishing his work to do more work. Then a slew of other symptoms followed: loss of appetite, high-grade fevers, night chills or sweats, and blood on his sputum. She noticed he had grown weaker and had trouble breathing but Dimitri was stubborn, and insists that it was nothing more than a cold. He dismissed the doctors that she called to check on him, he said he was fine and did not need their help. She would often argue with him to have the doctors assess what was going on but her husband would just lash back that he still needs to atone, so he has to bury and busy himself with work.

Things took for the worst, Dimitri’s health began to plummet further down and Byleth’s fears were manifesting before her. _ I cannot lose him. _ She thought. _ Not now. _

Dimitri’s lungs began to fail him, he had shortness of breath and was always fatigued. There were days he hardly ate or haven’t ate at all. His weight dropped drastically, his face became pallid, and his skin pale as moonlight. He was bedridden for days, then weeks, then months until eventually his body caved in and Mercedes much to Dimitri’s dismay that he was permanently bedridden. Byleth, as queen and archbishop, became almost a figurehead on his behalf during meetings with nobles of Fódlan. Many would ask if the king’s health is compromised and if they should get ready on crowing their son, Mikael, the new king of Faerghus since he was already of age. Other nobles suggested that the bedridden king should just abdicate and crown the prince as king while he was alive while she served as queen regent until he became of age. Of course, the smaller council of Houses Gautier, Dominic, Fraldarius, Galatea, and Gaspard suggested to wait for Dimitri’s health to stabilize but they are prepared to crown the heir apparent if, and only if, Dimitri says so or the Goddess welcomes him to paradise. There was a pit in her stomach when the topic of Dimitri’s death was on the nigh; it’s inevitable… she could see her husband, her beloved, her _ heart _wilt before her. She could turn back time… she could do that selfishly to save her husband from consumption but Sothis would whisper to her that would be foolish and death will still find another way to reap her husband.

Byleth sat on the edge of the bed by his side and clutched his hand; so this room where they shared passionate and sometimes quiet nights together were to be his deathbed . The seemingly alien feeling of his cool touch that had warmth before broke her heart even further. Dimitri turned to her and joked as he tentatively brushed Byleth’s cheek with his thumb, “You haven’t aged one bit.” The mint-haired woman stifled a snort as she tightened her grip on his hand and shook his head, “An aftereffect after my fusion with Sothis, probably.” She assumed, pursing her lips. The blond man smiled and sighed, “So, I married the Goddess. What a lucky man I must've been.”

“No,” Byleth replied. “I… I’m the lucky one to have someone like you, Dimitri.”

“Promise me something, my beloved.” Dimitri pleaded. 

“Anything.”

“Do not wallow on my death for long.” He heaved. “Grief does not suit you, my love. Once I’m buried, never return to visit or offer flowers. Do not make my grave your home.”

She was speechless after that. How can he say such a thing? Byleth’s gaze averted from his, she was unsure if she can fulfill that promise. Dimitri was everything to her, a companion, a lover, a friend, a husband, a king--he was her world. So this was her curse on assenting to godhood: to watch her beloved die and the lifetimes to follow without him by her side. Byleth’s body shook from sobbing, his words stung like a fresh wound and on the back of her mind she cannot, she will not accept to keep that promise. “No,” Byleth cried. “I can’t do---”

“Please, beloved.” Dimitri interrupts. “Please.”

All she could do was nod weakly to assent at his request as much as it stung her. Hot tears stained her cheeks but Dimitri carefully, as always, wiped them carefully with his thumb. Byleth smiled weakly as she leaned closer to his palm as he cupped her cheek. “Your smile is still mesmerizing.” The blond man mused quietly. 

“May I confess my last rites, Your Grace?” He asked. Ah. She was still archbishop (a goddess really), a role she had seemed forgotten she still has because of her grief. 

“Yes.” She replied firmly. Byleth tried to be strong but she felt her shoulders become weak. “And I absolve you of your sins.”

Dimitri’s lips parted before he smiled. “Am I a good man, beloved?” He asked. Dimitri seemed to be reminded of his darker days so he had always asked in an almost clockwork fashion. Byleth was always annoyed at that question. She would answer yes. Always yes. 

“I see.” He sighed. “I grow tired, my love” She felt his grip weaken against her hand. Byleth kissed his brow and replied, “Then rest.”

“Will you be next to me when I wake?” Her heart sank to her stomach. This was really goodbye.

“Yes. Always.”

Dimitri drew one short breath before he closed his eyes. “Dimitri?” Byleth mused.

There was no response. She placed her ear on his chest, the familiar heartbeat she knew wasn’t there.

On the night of the fifth day of the Wyvern Moon… King Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, the Savior King of Fódland and the Lord Protector of Church of Seiros passed peacefully as if he were sleeping.

Byleth disappeared after the burial but before she did she asked those who were close to them to fake her death; make a grave next to Dimitri’s with an empty coffin and tell the people she died from her own sorrows. As much as she wanted not to depart from her own child, it was a sacrifice she had to do. Mikael was the only happy memory that was left of Dimitri before her world was shattered. She would watch over him, she promised the young boy, ever and always like his father does now. 

* * *

She lived in seclusion in a hut in the mountains of Faerghus where she tended to a small garden of flowers that reminded her of Dimitri; forget-me-nots and lavenders that reminded her of his blue eyes, daffodils and sunflowers reminded her of his hair. She also planted asphodels, lungwort, phlox, and an apple tree because of their meanings. Of course, she had also planted his favorite tea: chamomile. Byleth, try as she may, tried to fill the void in her life with distractions, still felt empty. She could rewind time to happier days, maybe she could offer her blood to him so Dimitri could be also bestowed immortality but she thought that would be selfish of her to do so. When the loneliness becomes too overwhelming, tea was her only friend. The familiar scent of chamomile, Dimitri’s favorite, filled her lungs with nostalgia of days gone by. She remembered their conversations about a plethora of things, him telling her his concerns and worries, and his laughter. People wished for immortality for vanity or power but little did they know that immortality was not a blessing but a honeyed curse that seemed sweet at first but the bitter realization of loneliness followed after. 

* * *

“You are still wearing the ring he gave you.” Rhea observed as she held Byleth’s left hand. “After all these years since his passing, you are still a devoted lover and wife.”

Byleth retracted her hand from the other woman and gently rubbed the ring that coiled around her left ring finger. She refused to remove it, that ring, the promise between them still stands even if death already parted them. Gods do sleep. Sometimes, she dreams of Dimitri and her under the summer sun in Fhirdiad; the sweet scent of flowers, the warm breeze, and his laughter seemed so real. She wanted those days back that was taken from her suddenly. She wanted to dance with him, to laugh with him, to hold him, to kiss him again. “Byleth,” Rhea mused softly. 

All she could do was give the other woman a harsh gaze. Her immortality was her undoing, she was the reason why she cannot join Dimitri in the afterlife. She clenched her fists tightly and gnashed her teeth before a harsh exhale escaped her lungs. “I know you must hate me for granting you such a burden but I---”

“Tell me then, Rhea,” Byleth drawled out. “I know your mother was taken from you and I am a product of your grief but why must you grant me this pain?”

“You chose to carry this pain.”

“I did not!” Byleth roared. “I did not want to become Sothis. I did not want to watch him die. It would be selfish of me to grant him the same gift like what you did to my father but why… why must I only meet my love, my heart, in dreams?” 

Rhea looked stupefied at the question, the other woman searched for an answer but all she could give was gently hold Byleth’s hand. “If you did not exist, you would have never met him.” Rhea replied softly. “If you did not exist, you wouldn’t have saved him from his eventual madness. I could never bring your dear, sweet Dimitri back and I know you would never grant me to do so but we both know he is at peace and his demons are not haunting him.”

“Then let me rest too, Rhea.” Byleth pleaded. “Take me to the Holy Tomb and let me sleep in Sothis’s throne.”

“I cannot--”

“Please, Rhea. Please grant me some rest as well.”

* * *

Byleth did not know how long she slept in the Holy Tomb. Days? Weeks? Months? Years? Centuries? Millennia? She honestly did not know or did not care. In her sleep, she dreamt of Dimitri in that same summery day that Byleth really never wanted to forget. He held her around his arms with his chin sitting comfortably in the crook of her neck. Both of them just stood there in silence, desperately in love with one another without a care for the world. The dream suddenly fades when her eyes opened and there was a pang in her chest. Why did she wake up? The dream was so sweet, so real that she still felt Dimitri’s warm embrace around her. 

There were tears that fell from her eyes as she desperately tried to go back to dreaming so she could be with her beloved again.

But she cannot.

Byleth gingerly walked to the staircase that lead her out of the Holy Tomb. As she opened the door, two familiar figures, although they both looked different at the same time. “Professor!” Seteth and Flayn said in unison.

“Seteth,” Byleth whimpered. “Flayn. How?”

She looked around at the almost unfamiliar scenery. Was she really still in Garegg Mach? In Fodlan? The buildings looked new and taller than the spires of Castle Fhirdiad with unusual designs and motifs. “Where am I?”

“Professor,” Flayn chirped. “You’re still in Fodlan.”

“It… looks--”

“Different?” Seteth stole the word from her mouth. “You have been sleeping for a long time.”

* * *

Byleth asked Flayn and Seteth to take her to Fhirdiad; it was a selfish request but her heart cannot take the pain much longer. Her heart yearned to see him again, even if it was his grave, she wanted to see him despite his request. She wondered if Dimitri knew that she was still grieving after all these years? She also wondered if he knew that she was still devoted to him? Dead do not speak but she really wished that she could talk to him, to tell him that she missed him, to tell him that she still loved--loves him beyond the grave.

Castle Fhirdiad still stands and all her memories of the place both good and bad washed her like a flood. She knew where to go to meet Dimitri again despite the pain in her heart that realized he was still buried deep in the ground. The royal mausoleum was immaculate just as she remembered that day when her heart was locked in a coffin, buried with dirt, and immortalized in marble. She padded slowly up the dais where Dimitri’s tomb was and where her knees buckled causing her to fall to the floor. Her tears hot tears flowed like rain and her sobs echoed across the tomb when she realized her child was also dead and their descendants’ too. Do gods even grieve? 

“You made me promise to never come back here,” Byleth sobbed as her forehead touched Dimitri’s tomb and her fingers grazed the cool marble. She chewed on her bottom lip as she remembered the day when her beloved passed. She remembered that promise and she kept it but she could not bear the pain any longer. I’m sorry if I could not keep my promise, my love, my heart.

“I’m so sorry, Dimitri.” The mint haired woman heaved in between sobs. “I just miss you too much.”

**Author's Note:**

> Here I am again with flower meanings:
> 
> forget-me-nots: “forget me not”/remembrance, true love, memories  
lavender: devotion  
daffodils: memory of a loved one  
sunflower: loyalty, adoration  
asphodel: my regrets carry you to the grave  
phlox: our souls are united  
lungwort: thou art my life  
apple tree: love, remembrance of the past


End file.
